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Staying true

Saturday, October 01, 2016

I am in a good mood. I still have stacks of papers to grade, but overall, I feel good. I'm looking forward to my run tomorrow.

That is a fun thing. Looking forward to a run. After having to take the week off last week, this week I've felt very strong. Friday I changed my run/walk ratio to 2 min. run/30 sec walk. This felt just fine. I even did 2.5 minutes at the very end because it felt silly to walk the last 30 seconds of my timed workout.

I also had fun this week buying a pair of long work-out pants for running in cooler weather, plus two jackets, a long one and a short one. I bought size LARGE and not extra large! That's always fun with workout clothes, since they do tend to fit snug and the sizes are not so inflated.

I actually have a vintage 1980s pair of jeans - size 16. I couldn't fit into these without losing another 30 pounds. I think they'd be about a size 12 today. And the cut is different - much tinier in the waist, proportionally, than jeans today. I did wear a size 16 today that I bought two years ago that I could no longer get into. They are Lee "Classic Fit" and I think I hate them. They fit fine, but the higher waist is annoying. It tends to roll. After this, when I do need jeans again, I will continue to get the "Perfect Fit," which sits a little lower on the waist. I always feel, if not hot, then at least warm in these jeans. :D

The upshot is I feel motivated to run. I've got my new pants, a new ratio to try on the longer, slower Sunday run, and looking forward to continuing to lose inches and pounds to get into my former clothes size by size (though there's a gap after 16s). There's a "professional clothing" drive for students at my university this week, so I'm going to take in some things that I already have "undergrown."

When I was in my 30s, I was at an all-time high of 199 pounds, and I dropped to 147. It seems weird now, at 54, to feel so much better at 200 pounds, down from an all-time high of 245. I guess maybe it's relative. Or aging and the body changing? I don't know. I say it's "weird," but it's not bad. I would look like a scarecrow at my old goal weight of 125 (I'm 5'6", but I'm a strong person who tends to weigh more than the average - I was wearing size 4s and 6s in jeans on my last loss journey weighing 152).

This time is different. I know it's finally permanent. I'm not in a hurry. I'm enjoying the scenery along the way and not pinning all my joy on that faraway goal. And even then, it's more of an idea than a goal, one that I'm willing to modify as things change. I want to weigh what *I* want to weigh, and not get caught up in a number or an ideal that is generic and culturally-determined and not true to me.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Love this: "I'm enjoying the scenery along the way and not pinning all my joy on that faraway goal." AMEN. me, too. It's the foundation for any success I've managed to achieve thus far. I wish more people could understand this!

    Vanity sizing is just... stupid. I don't get it. How can a number make that much difference?

    Thanks for the blog. Your words always make me ponder... one of my favourite activities.
    1765 days ago
    Brava! I love the positive attitude. Bookmark this blog and come back to it should you ever feel like you are losing your mojo.

    Like you, I find the "new" sizes silly. Back in the day, when I was "skinny", I think I fit in a size 8 for about 2 weeks. I was 5'6" and weighed 125 pounds. And I was very thin. Hip bones stuck out. No breasts to speak of. Flat stomach. Now at 161-163 pounds, I am just about in a size 10. Ha! It's ridiculous!
    1767 days ago
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