A new week
Sunday, October 09, 2016
Feeling great following nearly a week back on the road and getting back to exercising. Feels amazing to be doing things with DH. Helping him with cardio, keeping him on track with nutrition and hydrated. It's crazy how fast the weight initial drops. He tried on some jeans last night which was super cool because he was able to put on a size 44 with no problems and they fight beautifully. The 42s not so much, lol, they fit but c couldn't be buttoned but that's huge progress already from a size 50.
Enough about him, lol. I've been struggling off and on for a few years now over the events of 3 years ago. While I do not reject changing carers, I struggle to let go of the subsequent events. I felt like such a failure having to have my kids move out and file for state assistance to get a place for themselves. Yes, we all survived. We're all healthy and they're moving 0 forward in their lives and we have good relationships but I can't shake the feelings of guilt.
Never in all my years as a single mom we never faced homelessness but that year we did. I keep praying for help and guidance to move past this and know that much of this is simply in my head but until I can let it go I'm not sure how successful I'll be in my journey. Being plagued by guilt which can make it hard to keep on with my clean eating since I'm am emotional eater.
I will do it. I'm determinated to because I'm worth it. i deserve it. I love myself enough to do this.