Jealousy, the green eyed monster
Monday, December 05, 2016
Jealousy! Man, I was a green eyed monster until today. And it would be towards the same girl from church. She recently got married and I was jealous, as if her life should have been mine. Such Nonsense. I met her 8 years ago when I went to church and became a believer. I tried to be her friend. I was 21 at the time and wanted believers as friends, but she never wanted to be my friend. I tried so hard that I would give her rides from college to our hometown since our colleges were in the same town. I was jealous that she was skinny, she had parents that supported her, helped her, would pray for her. I was plain jealous of her. I knew it was because she had such a stable and good home. Wow! What nonsense, now that I think about it. I decided to move to the town where I attended college and was gone for 2 years. I came back to my homechurch after those 2 years and she was the one I wanted to see.I don't know why I wanted to see her, but she ignored me. And this hurt. I don't know why it hurt me.
Today, for the first time after really reflecting on my life and thinking. I am not jealous of her anymore. She got married a few months back and I thought. I don't want her life. Yes, my life was not peaches and cremes and may not have been as easy as hers. It was my life. God has a purpose for my life. All the hardships and struggles have made me an understanding person towards others. They have made me who I am.
So from this point on I am going to make the rest of my life the best of my life. I am going to turn 30 in sept. and I want to be in the best shape of my life. No more comparing myself to others. Each and everyone of us has grown up differently, wether it was easy or hard. We each have our own story and our own journey. It's time to turn the page from this chapter and start another chapter. God is good!