I want to be "HER" again.
Sunday, February 24, 2019
My Sparkpage banner is a photo of my feet when I was super fit and doing the right things. I remember HER. I want to be her again. That was 14 years ago. I don't expect to be exactly the same. I just want to be doing and being what she did back then. I remember those days. In fact, I remember the very day I realized I had gotten to a place I was so proud. I had been dieting and exercising for months and months. There was a moment when I was at the grocery store and I saw my reflection at a mirrored egg counter. I didn't recognize myself. I had gotten so thin and fit, my reflection was shocking to me. I really want that to happen again.
Over the past 14 years, I have just let things go. I don't even want to see my reflection in the mirror. EVER. I am older now. I had different motivations back then. Now things are so different. Still, I want to be my best self. I am not that now. Nor, do I have aspirations of being a cute, "Little Red Riding Hood" next Halloween. I just want to be in a mental and physical head space that makes me proud of myself and can live inside of this skin without the bulges.