What happens after you meet your goals....
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
So I am feeling a bit weird.
I met my big goals and now am feeling a kinda anti-climatic deflation of sorts...
I wasn't expecting to feel this way so was not prepared for it! There was a lot of build up to the end goal (well mid goal) in both my lifts and my weight loss -- AND the sudden flurry of job interviews I have just done.
I was on top of the world - both emotionally and in the "in control of my life" sense. I had confidence and a great sense of achievement. These are all great things so why do I feel down and empty.
I guess part of it for me is that I am only half way through my weight loss goals and my powerlifting goals never end (albeit with sporadic testing and eventually competitions) so this big goal I just met is more like a mid-goal achievement.
The other more generalised part is that the pressure and excitement of meeting a goal really sets you up for a bit of a fall - you have so much motivation to meet your goal with a deadline and tight controls around all your actions and thoughts that when that pressure is released with a whoosh....you are suddenly bereft of constant purpose. Alone with your actions I suppose.
This past week since I finished my diet I have had two highly pressured interviews, a slight injury, started ramping up my calories to maintenance (trying to find a healthy balance of more flexible eating), waited for the outcome of those interviews, done a full medical check, done FAR more socialising than I usually do, done FAR more blobbing out than I usually do, completely bombed a squat session (for the first time and it SUCKED ASS), been rejected for a job and my cat will just not stop bringing mice into my house (4 in one day!!).
I have struggled. It is not depression but a kind of emptiness - do I fill it up with the next goal or give myself a break. Time will tell I guess...