SP Premium
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints 198,480


Sunday, January 05, 2020

Graduation was last night for my Atelier class. I actually thought about not going and I’m glad I did. It was fun, and definitely an affirmation of all the hard work we put into the class during the course of the year. This type of time commitment is difficult when you live in a place like this. It’s harder to make a living, and the distances are significant. Anyway, it’s done, I have the certificate to prove it, and it’s time for me to bend my mind toward where I want to go from here.

Part of me feels adrift, and another excited that I’m now charting my own course rather than restricted by classwork. I’m reminded of an article I read that said leaps in creativity thrive from restriction. If someone asks you to tell a story, many of us will sputter and stutter, and grasp for possible avenues to begin. If someone asks us to tell them a story about a baby bird in the jungle, all of a sudden, our task becomes much easier because of the parameters that have been placed upon us. The making of art is the same, for me. I have hundreds of ideas for paintings both in my head and jotted down in various places. When I complete one painting and move on to the next, I am often paralyzed by indecision of what to do. Especially this time of year it is best to remember that “You can do anything; you just can’t do it all at the same time.” The concept has been paraphrased by many people over time. I think we realize this at a visceral level and this is what paralyzes us when we try to figure out what to do with our art, or, frankly anything.

When you think of New Year’s resolutions, how long is the list that you have to choose from? What you can do is decide what is the most important habit for you to make, and also to break Right Now? That doesn’t mean you can’t work on more, but your focus needs to be on one in particular until it becomes second nature. Then you can tackle the next one.

Once you have decided what is most important, the next thing to do is to determine why this is so important and articulate it. Write about it. Feel the why and the how it is important to the point that you can taste the results of accomplishing that goal.

I chose walking on a daily basis. I know, it seems like a simple thing, something that most people take for granted. Making myself get outside and do it is difficult. I have all sorts of excuses. I can’t answer the phone, I have more important stuff to do, I need to clean the pantry, empty the dishwasher, take a toothbrush to the floor and clean it! The last is only a slight exaggeration. Then, I thought about walking and what I get out of it. There are lots of physical benefits that I don’t need to describe. Because I have such resistance to it, it must be important.

• I do my best thinking when I’m walking
• I come up with some of my most creative ideas
• It strengthens my connection to Spirit
• It relaxes me
• I feel better about myself for getting exercise
• It starts the day off on a great foot!

Here it is in a nutshell: Walking has a strong influence on my mental, spiritual, and creative development. It is time that I spend with myself away from other distractions. So why oh why is it so hard to do? I love it when I’m doing it. I know the benefits of doing it both during and after, and here I still sit. From what I can tell, I have an in-born fear of seeing what is inside myself. What if I don’t measure up to my own expectations? What if I don’t find what I’m looking for there?

So here’s the ultimate question, then. Why do we dread what we will find inside ourselves? I still don’t have an answer that I am happy with. All I know is this:

• Any conscious time that I have spent with myself has been well worth it.
• I find solutions to problems.
• I discovered a sense of humor.
• I discovered a hesitant friend with hopes and dreams that I had been unable or unwilling to express.
• I discovered a connection to Spirit and Creativity, to ideas in the form of short stories, books, poetry, music, stained glass, and many other mediums that I don’t currently use to practice my art.
• I discovered an entire universe of potential that was hidden from the external world I spend so much of my time in.

Anything that can allow me to tap into that kind of potential is a game-changer. Now that I know it, the responsibility falls on me to follow through. I think this is where the fear comes in. If I’m not doing something, there has to be a fear attached to it somewhere. I found another 12 things that I added to a habit tracker so that I could be more careful about following through. Walking, while on that list, I don’t have any hatch marks for walking yet. Not for the new year. Not for the month.

I guess I’ll have to go for a walk to see if I can figure that out.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh my, you and I are on the same journey to walking... I am also an Artist and walking is what inspires me, slows me down, allows me to enjoy the elements and to be more intimate with nature. When I walk I know myself better and have a better over-all demeanor about life. Why is it that something so simple, beautiful, healthy, inexpensive and fun is so difficult to do?

    emoticon Must just put our shoes on and


    I'm adding you as a friend (I loved reading this blog entry)

    532 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/7/2020 3:16:41 AM
    Megan, I love your blog! So glad that you decided to attend the graduation for your Atelier class as it celebrated our affirmation of all your hard work. You deserve to have your art celebrated and recognized.

    I love how you analyze what you need to do, the steps to accomplish your goals, and why doing so is important for you. When the weather's bad, it's dark, or during commercials of a tv show, I walk in the house. Our house is built in such a way that walking is easy to accomplish. Depending on the length of the commercials, I sometimes can get 500 steps done before the show resumes.

    Keep moving in whatever form works for you. emoticon

    We're here for you!
    533 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    Megan, love this blog. I have the same issues with my morning exercise. I know it is good for me, I know I feel better after I complete it, but getting started is tough. Good luck & I hope you got to walk today.
    533 days ago
    Loved this blog of yours. and congratulations on the graduation. I too love walking and it is something you can do inside as well as outside.

    I am inspired by you a lot and am glad to count you as a friend.

    Heres to 2020 being the best year ever
    533 days ago
    Love your blog Megan. Walking is exercise as well and I walk at home. I walk from the living room to the kitchen and back again listening to an audio book but not always as like you I get ideas as I walk. It is not safe to walk in parks anymore so I limit my outside walking around the housing estate and the shopping mall.
    You are an inspiration to us all. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    533 days ago
    LOVE your blog, Megan!! I sooo "get this" as far as lining up whatever is WANTED for 2020 (or for anytime of the year) and if walking gets daunting, try standing!! That's what I do when the weather isn't amiable for my walks. I'll STAND at the computer, or wherever, in order to keep myself from sitting. I have a few other things I plan to do less sporadic, e.g. to loosen up and strengthen my arm muscles, tighten up my core, and put strength into my upper thigh area, etc., but my habits (good and bad) need work. I have more than enough to work on, I just need to keep from BOLTING at the gate, so I don't burn out before Spring. LOL!! You have ALWAYS had a good head for reading/mapping/laying out the Steps, so KEEP ON MOVING 'cause you've got this if anybody's got this!! HAPPY 2020 for us my Scorpio Sister!! ::hugs::
    533 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/6/2020 8:01:13 AM
    emoticon emoticon
    533 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.