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A Step Back For A Closer Look

Friday, February 21, 2020

I have come to the conclusion that I need to forget that last week I was at 191 lb and that I have regained 4 lbs since then. I took stock of from whence I have come and where I am now. Here are some stats:
So far my total weight loss is 41 lb. Since Nov 1st I have lost 18 lb and that is roughly a 6 lb loss per month. When I get to 50 lbs lost I will be 186.
These are the facts of my victory, not my failure. I am not done. I am not finished. i am not a failure. Losing 9 more pounds is not impossible. My body is not my enemy. It is a friend that needs to be rescued....it will cooperate because it is to its benefit. It does not want to carry around this weight.

I just wish i knew HOW. Is 1200 calories a day too much?? Or too little?? I really don't know. I have studied my records. I have looked at all of my weights as they correspond to the calories I ingested and honestly? sometimes at 1200 calories I have lost and have also gained. There are no clear patterns. Sometimes, after a week of eating 1400-1500 calories, I
have LOST weight. There is no sense . There is no rationale. It does not feel at all like a science. It does not seem to follow any formula. A doctor told me yesterday that my body is "an enigma wrapped in a mystery." He doesn't know how right he is.

So, if this is the case, how did I lose these 18 lb? I aimed for 1200 calories and paid attention to the nutrient ratios and tried to manipulate them to the percentages I desired. I struggled to eat enough fat. I cut way back on my carbs but still ate whole grain carbs. I drank protein shakes. For a while I used my Bento box for my overnight eating. (and I intend to do that again. Night times are way out of control).

I guess that is what I need to do again. I've been slogging along in this morass of numbers...no real goals. Contradictory goals. Eating what I want to eat and letting the numbers fall where they land. Feeling lost and confused and like I'm trying to scale an impossible mountain, hindered by this body of mine.

I will go back to what was working.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD7567043
    I have a similar issue with weight loss. When I think I am doing well, the scale many times does not move, but when I think i am doing badly, I will lost some weight. I am watching the biggest loser this season on TV and many of the people on this show, work very hard and eat the right things and have little to no weight loss many weeks. They explain on the show about plateaus and everyone's body being different. I have almost come to the conclusion that if I am eating well and exercising, this is good no matter what the scale says.
    525 days ago
    I am so happy to hear you say this. Here is a challenge. Could you give yourself the gift of only weighing monthly? The numbers aren't telling you anything useful. There are just too many variables that radically change things. It isnt about the number. You want to reach a healthy weight. You want to eat healthy in a way the nourishes your body. You want to feel comfortable with your choices. You mostly want to be at peace.

    Let go. God is there beside you. So is Beth and all of us here. You will get there. Its hard to believe in yourself and trust but you have been making good progress.

    Im working on believing in myself. After all these years, and all those diets. I finally believe that I can Be a success story.

    I believe you can beca success story, too.
    528 days ago
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