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Monday, March 15, 2021

I've never really sent myself a love letter, but it is part of my weekend challenge, so here goes....

Dear Me,

I know you have a strong self esteem, but even so you still take note of all you do wrong and with Covid and so much more isolation you do focus on what is wrong with you and that is wrong!

Look at what you have done in your life! You lost your eyesight in your early 20s, around age 23, to type 1 Diabetes. You were scared and angry, but you knew this happened for a reason and the reason was to save your life. to teach you how non-invincible you are! You went away for 9 months and learned how to live your life with no sight. You thought people wouldn't like you because you thought that people only payed attention to looks, appearance, and not who you were. Yet, you made many long lasting precious friends based on your personality and sense of humor.

You met the man you would marry at home during this time too. You were unsure about him because he wasn't a "bad b'oy"! but, what you learned is that you were worthy of a man who is a good man and who wants to care for you.

So much happended during the intervening years. You returned to college and got an associates degree in business Admin, a bachelors in Industrial/Organizational Psych with a minor in Leadership Studdies and then went on for a masters of education in Coummunity & College Counseling. Melissa, you did all of this with a 4.0 GPA and your first paying job as a blind person was as a math tutor!! girl, if that ain't impressive, I don't know what is!

After graduating with your masters you went to work in Mental health emergency Services, Teaching Psychology at the same Community College that you attended as a student and worked as a tutor. During that time you also went to work on getting licensed as a Licensed Professional counselor, which you did! You worked in Emergency Services with severely mentally ill clients and managed to help them find the help they needed whether it be involuntary hospitalization, substance abuse treatment, counseling or any other number of services. You were able to stay calm in the midst of chaos and use your skills to help calm family members. During this time you also provided one on one counseling, group counseling and everythign that goes along with it all!

While working in mental health your sister died and your brother, her twin, both died within 4 months of each other. Your sister in a car accident and your brother due to complications of diabetes. Melissa, at this time you never thought you could go on, but somehow you did because giving up just didn't seem like an option.

In the more recent past you lost your mother, dog and dad. You visited your dad every day when he was dying. You found people to take you for the 2 hour drive to stay with him daily. He died in your arms as did your beloved dog, jack!

and, somehow you are here. I often wonder why you are here and think that a sort of survivor's guilt is what makes it so hard for you to stick to a healthy diet. I think that deep down you don't feel like you should be the one still alive! After all, honestly, your entire family assumed you would die first and here you are, the only one standing!

In even more recent times you have returned to church which would make your parents so happy! but, you realize god has a purpose for you and you need to stay healthy and strong for that purpose, whatever it is! Because, Melissa, you deserve to live and to live with joy! You deserve to live as a healthy person. You need to live and continue to be a close tie to your nephew, your husband, your dog.

Melissa, I love who you are and who you continue to grow into. I want to treat you better and will work hard to do that! With love & prayers, Melissa to Melissa
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Spark Twin,


    123 days ago
  • no profile photo CD25385367
    I love this.
    128 days ago
    Since you are a bible person in 1 Cor 10:13 13 No temptation has come upon you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

    This is how we survive things we'd never ever think we could. You turn to him, he to you.

    Sweet Melissa, as I read your letter to yourself I kept say "Oh WOW!" though it so many times. Indeed you are so very very strong. Doesn't mean we don't cry we certainly do. Job cried, Jesus cried, we cry.

    Yet, we keep on going.

    You are a very very smart woman!! We are so happy you are with us on the Dawggie team.
    130 days ago
  • KATIE5668
    Beautiful...as are you... big hugs....
    130 days ago
    You truly are an amazing woman, Melissa! God has his plans for you and you are living them. He knows your struggles and loves you, as does your husband, nephew and dog. God bless you!
    130 days ago
    What an amazing woman you are!! And yes, so worthy of tender care for yourself by yourself!! Best food, best motion . . . that's all it takes. Go ahead. It feels good.
    130 days ago
    What a powerful blog!
    130 days ago
    Lovely letter to yourself!
    130 days ago
    It is amazing that we find we are stronger than we think..we face things we could never imagine and manage to survive...You are a winner, and survivor..it was not easy but you found a way.
    130 days ago
    What a beautiful tribute to the beautiful person you are, Melissa.

    You have indeed accomplished a lot in your life, and will continue to accomplish much more, just as He intends you to.

    131 days ago
    That survivor’s guilt is a tricky one... and suffered by so many. My dad was born a sickly baby and my grandmother became a widow to a three month old baby... his grandfather said that he’s not reach his first birthday, yet he went through the war as a tank commander, captured by the Germans, imprisoned by Franco’s soldiers in Spain. He lost his brother in Auschwitz and his mother and sister were shot by invading Germans. Then, having married and had three children in a foreign land (UK), he saw his ten year old son fall to cancer in 1965 and his wife, my mother die all too soon at 67 due to heart problems which were a legacy of Siberia. I think he saw it as his duty to live the best life he could for his family, as he was their representative and lived to a week short of his 93rd birthday, having also outlived his nephew (his brother’s son and daughter had been orphaned during the war).
    So, you carry on and be that wonderful, loving and caring family ‘representative’ and continue to make them all proud!
    131 days ago
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