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Mental Fatigue

Thursday, March 18, 2021

I had a particularly bad day today. Not bad in the sense that something horrible happened but I am so worn out and tired and in pain. Plus the emotional pain of this year is wearing me down.

I moved closer to be with my family after my husband died last year only to see them less than when I lived 4 hours away. I have friends who have died, friends who are still recovering, a young niece who is a doctor in the midst of things and people are so cavalier about it all. It makes me very angry.
I eat my emotions and eat from loneliness and eat because I am bored. The scale is a reminder that this year has effected me even though I didn't get sick. I wash my hands , wear a mask, stay away from people, shop early, order on line, and deal with the loneliness by watching tv and eating. I am in pain from injuries so even the thought of walking and exercise makes me want to cry. Too much pain to get a decent night's sleep and no energy during the day. I did get my second vaccination this week so maybe some of this tiredness will get better but I think it is also just a sign of mental fatigue.
As bad as this sounds one saving thing is my dear Spark
family. My teams are my friends. I wouldn't know where I'd be without them.
So many times I've wanted to throw in the towel. Quit. Just give up but oh boy I know things will be ten times worse. So I blog about it instead of eating and I join the 5% Challenges and Biggest Loser Challenges to keep connected and focused on a healthier life style.
I hate to complain and put things out there but maybe someone else will read this and know they are not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all well. Hugs,
Emily

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHRISSYWILSON80
    Emily, it has been so hard this last year. I am an extrovert and the isolation has definitely had a mental impact on me. I have new anxiety I never had before, and now take a mild medication for it. I also eat my emotions. Although I haven't gained much, I've definitely have not lost any either. Spark is my family away from family also. I don't have much family, and the closest one is my sister and niece who are almost 5 hours away. You are an amazing person, it was brave of you to put how you are feeling in a blog. I'm always here for you if you need anything.
    69 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14181646
    HUGS
    And thank you for being honest!
    84 days ago
  • 2020ISTHEYEAR
    Big emoticon to you! I think a lot of us are feeling a lot of those same feelings at this point. So glad you will be back with the Firecracker Team and know that you can always reach out to us, if you ever want to/need to talk. emoticon emoticon
    88 days ago
  • SPRINGTIME69
    emoticon Emily,
    I think so many of us are struggling to keep it together. I never thought I'd get stressed out just going into the grocery store. The constant hand washing and wiping things down that I've brought into the house is really getting old. All the anger and fighting in the news on a daily basis is just so depressing.
    But, I've been working very hard to stick to my eating plan; this virus already took my job, I'm determined to not let it take my health. So, I remind myself of that every time I go for extra or empty calories. I still have to work on getting back into an exercise routine, but with the weather warming up, I think I can do that soon.
    You are so right, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and, if we stay focused on that, we can get through this low period and move on to better things.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon Take care of yourself...
    89 days ago
  • MAGICAL13
    emoticon Emily you are so not alone in this struggle. Everybody is struggling with something and then you add Covid on top of it all and sends a person spiraling down hill. I too, suffer from sore hips and back, like Lacreshah, I know can manage it with exercise, but when im not in pain the exercising slows down or stops. This is were I am now my pain has come back because i have put weight back on and now need to start over again. Only now I know the exercise and lower weight helps so I'm slowly getting back at it and will get better. I figure a little is better than none and will naturally increase as I feel better. I hope you can find that happy balance. I rely on the Purple Phoenix and spark to keep me coming back. i'd be lost without it...big huggs my friend... emoticon lean on us we are in this together... emoticon
    89 days ago
  • MARILYNROBERT
    I can't hug you hard enough, Emily emoticon
    89 days ago
  • STARGLOW77
    So sorry about your losses & you Hhave my deepest sympathies. Praying for you! Glad you are on the Firecracker team :)
    89 days ago
  • LACRESHAH
    Emily,

    I feel you girl! Spark is what keeps me afloat also. Hopefully spring bringing warmer temps and longer days will help us spend more time outside and less inside our dark and lonely houses. My answer to pain is exercise. If I don’t exercise my legs,hips and back hurt a lot especially at night but if I exercise I also get so sore and can barely walk but after a week or so the pain gets better and I sleep better but if I lapse back into doing nothing the pain comes back. I know pain has cycles so I hope you can find a way to break out of yours. I agree a lot of things have changed and we are lonely and sad but good days are ahead with sunshine and flowers ! HUGS
    89 days ago
  • CAROLYN0107
    Praying for you this evening. I had my second Covid vaccination this week, on Wednesday. I'll be so glad to be a bit freer with activities. Tomorrow I see my Cardiologist again. My newly diagnosed Atrial Fibrillation has now had another diagnoses as well, Diastolic heart failure. So..... I'm also going through some things that aren't pleasant. We'll get through this.
    HUGS.
    Carolyn
    emoticon
    89 days ago
  • SPARKLENORTH
    emoticon It has been very difficult for many including me, who live single and dealing with loneliness. I'm fortunate that I have a mix of working at home with working at the office, where I see clients (plus am now allowed to go back into client homes). I'm also allowed to visit my parents - who live in their own home. I'm so glad to hear you are well connected in SP and know you aren't alone here. Take good care. emoticon
    89 days ago
  • PURPLE-UNICORN
    Hang in there, Emily! You are definitely not alone.

    emoticon
    89 days ago
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