life in the AFTER
Monday, October 22, 2007
so here i am, finally, at my goal (and beyond) and loving every minute of it! fitting into jeans i haven't worn in years, not craving all my old trigger foods, even enjoying the healthier versions of the meals i make. BUT i've noticed something's missing - i still don't have my sexy back and by that i mean, my confidence. i look at the scale everyday and i see the number staring back at me but i still feel like the fat girl, like i'm gonna wake up and the person reflecting back is still 150lbs. i also find that i'm carrying myself like the fat girl of old, head pointing straight down towards the floor, bad posture, tugging at my shirt. I WANT MY SEXY BACK, DAMN IT!! i want to carry myself with pride and confidence. i never seemed to have a problem with it in the past when i was thin but now i'm having such a hard time and i can't understand why. have i been fat for too long? how long will this feeling last? and how do i snap myself out of it? losing the weight was hard but at least there were tangible things i could do to get to my goal. i'm not exactly sure what i'm supposed to do to feel hot again. it's a little frustrating, to say the least, because i expected it to be instant; as if, once that magic number appeared i would just feel that certain something again.
can anyone relate? and if so, any advice? mom says i should take tons of pictures, so i'll start there, but am open to more suggestions. i've worked so hard to get here and don't want to waste another minute in the "fat mode" frame of mind...