SP Premium
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints 50,735


I can still control my weight
Friday, July 05, 2019      9 comments

When my life is spiraling out of control, when my body has once again failed me, when I am treading water in an endless chasm of despair, I can control this: ... Read more
tomorrow I go horse riding
Friday, June 14, 2019      10 comments

emoticon I'm pretty excited! I took a few lessons several years back and enjoyed them but couldn't continue a... Read more
Today is my 8 year anniversary of reaching goal weight
Tuesday, June 11, 2019      11 comments

Today is my 8 year anniversary of reaching goal weight. emoticon I almost missed it! I used to get reminde... Read more
bad news, good news
Tuesday, June 04, 2019      4 comments

Ordinarily, I don't pay for non-gym workout classes when I have gym classes included in my membership. I'm not in love with my gym's Zumba classes, however, and they don't work great into my schedule. I started taking Bollywood Zumba classes, ... Read more
weight loss, trauma triggers, appearance hatred
Sunday, June 02, 2019      3 comments

I knew this was going to happen. Although I always retained some level of loose skin after hitting goal weight, much of it "filled in" when I started regaining a significant amount of weight. As it did, the thoughts in this blog largely we... Read more
Why am I even trying to lose weight?
Sunday, June 02, 2019      2 comments

Why am I even trying to lose weight? What is my motivation? I’m trying to figure that out. After reaching goal weight in 2011, I was so incredibly disillusioned. My body did not look like I expected it to look like. Weight loss precipitated... Read more
working through urges to emotional eat
Wednesday, May 22, 2019      7 comments

I wanted to eat to anesthetize my feelings last night because of how incredibly angry I was. I couldn't direct my anger towards the source -- of course not: I'm not allowed to express 'bad' emotions like anger, and it would be a fruitless attem... Read more
focusing on losing regained weight from a maintenance POV
Monday, May 13, 2019      5 comments

I try to replicate things that worked for my weight loss in the past, if possible. One of those things is breaking down large goals into small goals to make them more attainable, such as 5% losses. Rather than thinking about -- and getting ove... Read more
sometimes you have to look at where you used to be to realize how far you've come
Thursday, May 09, 2019      5 comments

I looked at my motivational pictures last night. Most of them were from my goal weight range or slightly above. A handful were from my highest weight. I have been filled with admonishments to myself for so many years for not looking like the ... Read more
bouncing back from bingeing
Wednesday, May 08, 2019      3 comments

Bingeing hasn't been huge problem for me recently. Emotional eating, yeah. But full-blown "I feel out of control and can't stop eating", not so much. I did have a mini binge 2 nights ago right before bed (incidentally, after blogging that... Read more
Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts I am facing it straight on with eyes wide open
Monday, May 06, 2019      37 comments

This is going to be a short blog. I've wanted to write for awhile, and this is the first opportunity I've found to sit down and jot anything. I've been officially on-track for 3 weeks. After 3.5 weeks ago I finally mustered up the courage... Read more
my foot didn't hurt
Wednesday, April 17, 2019      1 comments

It occurred to me after doing my Bollywood dance workout class on Monday that my foot neither hurt nor tingled during OR after class! ... Read more
first step is
Tuesday, April 09, 2019      2 comments

getting my fat ass back on the scale. Done -- after probably 6 months of avoidance. No more ignorance or delusion. Next step is doing something about it. That's gonna be a bit more difficult.... Read more
did Zumba last night
Tuesday, August 14, 2018      3 comments

Last night I did Zumba class, for the first time in I can't even remember how long! WELL over a year, at least. ... Read more
on track this week
Thursday, August 09, 2018      2 comments

My focus and resolve renewed itself last week again, after a weigh-in at my doctor's office. I started tracking my food intake at the end of last week before getting off-track last weekend; however, I jumped right back into tracking on Monday, ... Read more

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Last Page »